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Month: July 2020

Liquid society?

According to a recent survey, only 12% of people want to go back to how things were before lockdown:

“I hate it when people talk about the ‘new normal’ – it just makes me want to scream. But actually, people don’t want the ‘old normal’. They really, really don’t,” said BritainThinks founding partner Deborah Mattinson. “They want to support and value essential workers and social services more. They want to see more funding for the NHS. There’s a massive valuing of those services and austerity is totally off the agenda.”

Donna Ferguson (The Observer)

I can’t imagine that this is an original thought, but while walking with the family yesterday it struck me that conservative tendencies within society want to ‘freeze’ things as they are. Why? Because the status quo suits them and their place in society.

Meanwhile, revolutionaries want to ‘boil away’ what currently exists to create room for what comes next. Why? Because the status quo does not suit them, either directly because of their place in society, or because it does not fit with their values.

These two tendencies are usually in tension. This means we end up with a free-flowing ‘liquid’ society. That is to say that, usually, we experience neither the ‘ice’ of reactionary times nor the ‘steam’ of revolutionary times.

For a society that suits the majority rather than the few, we need to keep things liquid, which is going to be particularly difficult given the current economic situation.

To stretch the metaphor, we may end up with a period of sublimation where ‘ice’ turns to ‘steam’. In this situation, people who have previously been reactionary (because the status quo has served them) become revolutionary (because the status quo no longer works for them).

I think I need to go and re-read Zygmunt Bauman on liquid modernity…


This post is Day 13 of my #100DaysToOffload challenge. Want to get involved? Find out more at 100daystooffload.com

Rules to live by

I have a number of things printed out and blu-tacked to the back of my home office door. The most recent addition has been a four-point list entitled ‘Rules to live by’.

  1. Avoidance is rarely the correct option
  2. Transparency is the best policy
  3. Perfect is the enemy of done
  4. Listen to what people actually say

This list came out of the CBT sessions I’ve been attending since last September. A combination of things made me realise I needed some help:

  • Death of a good friend
  • Stressful situation at work
  • Burden of volunteer responsibilities

As I’m sure most people say after going through therapy, it’s something I should have done years ago. Not because I’m weird, broken, or had anything other than a happy childhood. Just because as I approach middle-age, it’s good to be able to jettison some mental baggage and ways of thinking that aren’t helpful.

The list seems simple, but follows some fairly deep excavations into the reasons why I act the way I do, and the causes of anxiety flare-ups. The four points are my response to a prompt by my therapist to think first of all of the implicit rules I’m teaching my kids, and then writing down explicitly the rules I’d want them to live by instead.

My 10th therapy session is on Friday afternoon. After that, we’ll be moving to maintenance sessions every few months. I’m spending my own money on this, because the NHS had too much of a backlog. I realise I’m in a privileged position to be able to spend money on my mental health, but it’s definitely been money very well spent. The sessions have made a tangible (and hopefully long-lasting) effect on my life.

If you’re reading this and dealing with some stuff, I’d highly recommend a course of CBT. That’s especially true if you already think you should have the tools / strength to deal with it by yourself. Therapy has made me a better person.


This post is Day 12 of my #100DaysToOffload challenge. Want to get involved? Find out more at 100daystooffload.com

Just write.

I almost entitled this post ‘nobody cares’. Because, mostly, they don’t. When you write, you should write for yourself, as a way of setting down what you think, sharing your knowledge, and connecting together your experiences.

There have been times in my life when I’ve blogged every day. Any time you see me doing that, it’s probably because I’m having a tough time at home, work, or trying to chew through a knotty problem.

Another title for this post could be ‘write like nobody is reading’. Because, mostly, they aren’t. Even if you’ve got a lot of followers, most people don’t click through, and attention is a valuable commodity. Just because people are looking doesn’t mean they’re reading. And even if they are reading, what you’ve written almost certainly won’t have as much resonance as it does for you.

So just write. Say what’s on your mind and tell the world about it. Not because it’s going to get retweeted, boosted, or liked. But just as an expression of who you are, where you stand, and what you think.


This post is Day 11 of my #100DaysToOffload challenge. Want to get involved? Find out more at 100daystooffload.com

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