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Weeknote 09/2024

Photograph taken through a car window of a swan on the side of the road

It’s been a pretty busy week, between client work, a co-op day, going to the optician and the dentist, recording a podcast, attending a Newcastle Eagles basketball game and catching up with my studies. Thankfully I’ve been able to relax a little as there have been no basketball or football matches for our two this weekend.

I decided last weekend that I would continue with module TB872, the first of my planned MSc in Systems Thinking. That was for two reasons: first, I’ve done the most intense part of it; second, picking it up next academic year would mean having to start from scratch with my ‘situation of concern’.

As part of catching up, I wrote the following:

Along with a bunch of posts over at Thought Shrapnel, I also published Elysium, elites, and elision about the UK government’s planned use of AI to ‘replace’ civil servants.

Next week, Laura‘s away so I’ll be doing less coworking than usual and more solo work. Having said that, Anne and I are running a free online session on community knowledge management as part of Open Education Week. We’ll continue doing some user research for Participate, along with other work we’re doing with them and the Digital Credentials Consortium.


Image: photo taken through my car window of a random swan on the side of the road. I think they must cross from the pond opposite.

Weeknote 07/2024

Auction House, Morpeth

This has been a better week than last week. I’m composing this sitting on an armchair in the lounge of our rental property, underneath my electric blanket. It’s the best.

I’ve finished work for a week, with Team Belshaw heading off to Portugal tomorrow until Thursday in the hopes of soaking up a bit of sunshine. The pressure is off in terms of moving house, as HSBC finally came through on our mortgage, despite seeming not to understand my income (and therefore not taking it into account!)

It’s also been nice to have a small break from my MSc work. I’m awaiting the marks of my last assessment, which might help me decide what to do, but either way I don’t think I’ll take the next module immediately. There’s too much to do with moving house and entering a busy time of client work. Also, I need to stop seeking permission to relax.

In addition to work for existing clients Participate and the DCC, we also met with NCS about a potential collaboration. It’s looking like we’ll be picking up some more work from Greenpeace soon, and we’ll get into the Toro Impact community work with CSUDH when I’m back from holiday. Weird that all of our current work is with organisations outside the UK.

Otherwise, I took our two teenagers to see Newcastle Eagles beat Zielona Gora in another great basketball game on Tuesday night. It’s started getting a bit warmer outside, and I’ve been waking up at around 05:30, which is a sure sign of the beginning of a change of season.


Update: I found out later that I got 90% in my second tutor-marked assessment. I’m delighted, as I put so much work into it, but equally thought I could have failed it!


Image: The Auction House, Morpeth. Hannah and I went out for lunch on Friday, and tested out Lento camera (currently unavailable on the Google Play store but the developer kindly gave me a link to the apk)

‘Beast mode’ as permission-seeking behaviour

I realised something about myself over the past week. It’s a character flaw which presents itself as a kind of ‘Type A’ humblebrag.

I’m an adult who doesn’t need to ask permission from anyone to do anything. I don’t have an employer to please, nor do I need to achieve anything more in my life to be deemed ‘successful’.

And yet, I rarely give myself a day off. In fact, it’s worse than that: I ‘beast’ myself physically, mentally, and emotionally to to a point where I struggle. This gives me an excuse to engage in self-medicating behaviours (which are almost certainly less exciting than the ones you’re imagining).

For example, I walk too far and too quickly and do far too much work for a single module. This leads to periods of time when I’m unable to function at my usual level, so I can actually do things for my own enjoyment rather than perpetuate a system I’ve designed for performance rather than pleasure.

Perhaps I should follow Morrissey’s advice to do your best and don’t worry. Easier said than done when the permission slip you’re seeking is from yourself.

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